The Angel Sanctuary Shenanigans
by ResidentPyromaniac
Summary: A largely plotless and extraordinarily random fic written by a group of people 3 words at a time. Featuring bunnies, pygmies, Michael Soup, Uriel in drag, Gackt, Tupperware, and more. Not for the little kiddies.


**Disclaimer:** Neither I nor anyone else who participated in this story own Angel Sanctuary. If any of us did, many of the characters would be locked in our respective closets.

**A note:** The Angel Sanctuary Guild on GaiaOnline started this story on the date of March 31, 2008. The users who participated in creating this are as follows: St Katan, Akai Sukai, Inorganic Lord Rosiel, Tiara Edenbeam, Chairo Sohma, ShimizuOokami, beidoll, AkaimeRyuu, Masamune the Enlightend, straw-berru kiss, Desecrated Icarus, Resident Pyromaniac, and Pearness. I was given full permission to post the results of our collective insanity on this site.

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One day Setsuna walked down the sunlit Tokyo streets and came across an unusual sight. The entire city was surrounded by evil purple bunnies! Suddenly, he heard a maniacal laughter. He looked around and saw the brides of Lucifer. He gasped dramatically and pulled out a bottle of concentrated apple juice. Without warning, Uriel came in wearing fashionable kitty slippers and Doll's dress.

"What are you having for dinner?"

"I'm having some brides of Lucifer, and then some corned beef."

Suddenly, Jibril rushed past with her hair dyed bright orange. She was trying to get the pink flying pony away from the blue swimming pony. Setsuna was really confused about the random animals, so he decided to go back to his sister's room. When he arrived, Sara was talking to Zaphikiel's glasses. Setsuna stared at the strange sight and decided to kill himself, but Arachne interfered by making him squeeze the glasses until Raziel flew by to rescue them. Raziel told Setsuna that Zaphikiel was dead. He could always reset the switch that Raphael broke.

Then Setsuna did a back-flip and landed on Sandalphon, who was hiccuping very loudly and eating chocolate while having a disjointed conversation with Asmodeus. Everyone was shaking their booty while drinking coffee and eating pie when Astaroth came. Then they all hid in the tiny water glass. Unfortunately, Raziel started to sing a Barbie Girl anthem, which attracted the doomed honey bees of doom, who were reading Twilight and then dying because of starvation.

Suddenly Zaphikiel's resurrection and massive win forces Rosiel to kill all the ponies who were Sandalphon's brain, making him sing the bad touch which horrified the invisible pink unicorn until purple mayonnaise took over the glitter covered cheerleaders, scaring it away.

Madness was taking over Setsuna's foot, which was covered with neon glowing snot. That Michael had previously seen when fighting his inbred albino rat who had AIDS from licking Yoji on the knee covered in chocolate.

When Sandalphon decided that Michel was the same height as Edward Elric, even though he insisted he was made of chocolate. That idea was stupid even for a chocolate angel. Michael fell in a giant vat of white, creamy potato leek soup. Rosiel then decided that Michael soup needed more salt.

Meanwhile, Setsuna had awoke abed w'Rosiel and couldn't find his clothes. So, he naturally assumed he had spent the night doing Katan, Kira, + Rosiel in the hot throes of passion while Sara was dying horribly outside because she was stupid enough to eat poisoned toast. Since Zaphikiel had proposed to Icarus, everyone was very happy for them and for Sandalphon, who'd married ShimizuOokami, and everyone partied like it's 1999.

1999 was coincidentally when the Earth exploded into millions of dollars worth of pocky and Setsuna continued boinking while kicking Uriel. Doll was screaming that Setsuna was ignoring her needs so Setsuna shot a Nerf dart into her mouth. Doll choked but Uriel saved her. They both forgot Setsuna boinking Raphy and went to boink Rosiel and Katan barged in to join them. Michael then blew Raphy and Zaphy into bloody chunks in his dreams.

Tired of all his celibacy, Sevy remembered her gender and boinked Jibril. Adam Kadamon stopped boinking Alexiel with the Nanatsusaya because the slut begged for nitrous oxide.

Setsuna then ate a magic muffin which turned him into a giant homosexual crimson octopus. Everyone was WTF'd.

Zaphikel's second resurrection made people wonder why anyone bothered to kill him, because Icarus would revive him again. Damn straight!

Setsuna saw Kato drinking Katan's blood and absinthe. That combination was so erotic the world melted.

The world puddle grew red eyes and started dancing to music from The Dresden Dolls. Several fans attacked Setsuna because he kidnapped all their pocky and tea while doing homework.

The fans decided to eat cookies while singing Temperature and poking Sara with sharp scissors until the cookies slit her throat and played soccer with David Beckham and Lionel Messi.

Florescent teddy bears ate the butter and boinked Setsuna because they lost the strap on their cell phones.

Chocolate kisses never tasted so much like cardboard before in several hundred years and twelve minutes.

Meanwhile in Heaven, Abbadon was vacationing with Michael and Rociel by the Empty Corridor, and the decided to sneak in to St. Mary's girls' school disguised as young lesbian nuns all named Moonlil. They then decided to sneak back to the Gackt concert in which Gackt was naked. All fangirls present bled to death from massive nosebleeds. Gackt boinked Rosiel, causing surviving fangirls to spontaneously combust into melted plastic Tupperware. Overwhelmed by fanpuddles, Gackt turned into a frog and hopped away.

Since the world melted into a giant Tupperware puddle and spontaneously combusted, Heaven and Hell unleashed upon Colorado a blaze of unmitigated pure stupidity,  
making America dumber, which wasn't hard, considering that everyone was on crack and hyper drunk.

All the Americans went to India and got Mad Cow disease from eating chicken with artichokes and Worcestershire sauce. They all died from Mad Cow disease and were cremated and sent to feed starving pygmies in Hell. The pygmy population thrived due to the amount of flying wolf imps the pygmies ate.


End file.
